LOVE ADDICTION : DOPAMINE

I was sitting with Praveen Agarwal , who had come from Bombay, when the parents of the girl whose horoscope is given here, but whose identity is not disclosed, came to meet me after some years without any previous appointment. Being family friends, such liberties are permitted by me and taken by them.

Their problem discussed, their gratitude expressed, their decency exhibited which is rare these days, they left. Praveen asked me to discuss how I had advised them about the love addiction of their daughter seven years ago and how their daughter had not fallen into a bad trap and a wrong decision. Are these rare stories, I wonder, these days?

Television channels were giving extensive coverage to the painfully sensitive case of  Arushi Talwar case and the CBI accusing the parents of murdering her after , it is being said, after they had discovered their thirteen year daughter, in a compromising position with their servant, Hemraj. There is also the news that today (24 May) was the hottest day of May this year. A westerly disturbance and a storm and some rain will give us some relief in a couple of days is what can be expected now.

And we were discussing what is a very common problem--the love addiction of teenage girls and boys, their insistence to marry their lover and the agony of parents. What do we call this--infatuation, a passion without any rational thinking, an emotional storm which becomes an addiction when sexual attraction is central ?

What then is love ? Is there anything like real Platonic love, an impersonal love, a sweet emotion in which physical possession is not at the core of the feeling ?

Call it what you like, but for some Indian parents it is a moment of crisis and for the girl, particularly the girl and some boys, there is a determination to achieve it--to marry the lover at any cost. How many crimes are being committed now these days, when such infatuation is uncontrolled and parents are scolding their children ? The media covers some such incidents when they are reported, the astrologers know many when parents, trusting them, reveal details. And there is honour killing too.

In this case, the girl had come to me with her aunt, not trusting her parents. It was the period of Venus-Rahu. Venus is the seventh lord and Rahu and Mars were gripping the natal Moon. The aggression  of Mars and the effect of Rahu is infatuation here, not a platonic love at all. She was in her early twenties with strong sex hormones.

Through other methods and dashas, it was clearer and confirmed.

It was the year 2001 when in transit, both Jupiter and Saturn in Vrisha, her seventh house and Rahu in the eight house, Mithuna and Mars in Dhanu aspecting it had made matters worse.

Her aunt had met me many times before. But the girl was seeing me for first time. I stated her problem without her having to tell me. She smiled and perhaps thought that I would predict it approvingly. I did just the opposite and told her to wait for two years and more, telling her that it was a wrong choice, a disastrous one. She was annoyed. She did not abuse me but her grimace had conveyed it all. It has happened to me many times before. I have to tolerate it for the sake of my friends who are anxious parents.

The girl went away and told her aunt loudly enough for me to hear that she would never again come to consult me. It has happened to me many time before.

Then her guru, spiritual guru, intervened. The girl found out herself that the boy was ill-educated, immoral vagabond wanting to become an actor in Bombay and except running after girls, he achieved nothing.

The girl was disillusioned.

The antardasha of Rahu was over and came Jupiter now. Jupiter is in Kanya with Venus the seventh aspecting the seventh house. Navamsha confirm it so well.

She asked her aunt to arrange a meeting with me, now disillusioned, and wanting real guidanceunlike two years ago when she had lost her mental balance in the sub period of Rahu.

“You will have a good, orthodox marriage approved by your parents and lead a good married life”. I told her.

“When” she had asked me.

“Very soon, anytime”, I told her and few weeks after that the parents got a good MBA boy with a good salary and good family for her. She accepted it cheerfully and thanked me once. Coming with her husband another time she gave me some presents also.

Her parents reminded it of and thanked me again now when it was not necessary. Their daughter has two children and is well settled in a happy married life. A  disaster was avoided, the parents said again.

After they left and after Praveen left, I asked myself in how many cases can such disastrous marriage be avoided ? The astrologer can only see the horoscope, the dasha pattern and advise. In some cases it gets prevented, in some cases the disaster takes place, the girls divorces, remarries and settles down in married life seriously. In some cases terrible crimes take place.

What is the role of an astrologer in all this ?

None at all. He sees the horoscope sees the dasha pattern and advises according to his own capacity. Whatever is destined to happen, happens.

When ? Well we call it the Wheel of Time, the Bhagwan we call Kaal.

Appendix

I have given to many parents a report I had read. Here is an extract from it.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Love kick as good as cocaine,
London, Jan. 12:
 Falling in love can give you the same sort of kick as taking a drug like cocaine — and is just as addictive, scientists say.

....when people are smitten the brain releases the drug dopamine. It gives the same high as would be created by cocaine or Speed. “Attraction and lust really is like a drug. It  leaves you just wanting more,’’ . However like the drugs, the first feeling of love wears off after a while.

“Scientific research reveals the first flush of love lasts only between three and seven years.”

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The moral of the story: allow the unhelpful antardasha or antardasha to change and in most of the cases and a solution emerges out.

( 24 May 2012 11/40 pm)